Where to go from here

Okay so I know I don't graduate for another year but lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go from here... For as long as I can ever remember I haven't really wanted to go anywhere, just wanted to stay in my own little corner of the world away from all of the crime and craziness that so much of this country seems to experience but we in South Dakota are, for the most part, able to abstain from. But lately I have had this itch, to get out and see things and explore this big world that I live in and experience something other than my tiny existence. Don't get me wrong I love South Dakota and I know that I could probably happily live here forever but what if I am not supposed to? I know that it is going to take a lot of praying about this to ask for God's direction in where I am supposed to go and what to be doing with my life but I am scared, terrified actually. The farthest I have ever been away from my family was two hours when I lived in Fargo, ND and I absolutely hated it! Of course that was partly due to the fact that Fargo is way colder than Watertown no matter what anyone tells you. But I dont know...it has just been something I have thought about. Maybe my prince charming doesn't reside around here, maybe he is somewhere, anywhere out THERE! So yeah...that is my current predicament, even though I don't have to worry about it for another year or so, it will take that long to figure everything out!

Night Owl

It is currently 1 o'clock in the morning and I am not tired! This is a curse I live with from time to time when I just for the life of me cannot fall asleep or really am not even tired. I know it is because I, by nature, am a night owl anyway and my sleep schedule is pretty off anyway, I go to bed at all different times of the day (night) and sleep in way too late...I think this must be a college thing. I don't even know why I tend to stay up so late because it isn't like I do anything worth while or fun while I am up....such as this I am currently watching House season 2 on DVD....I know extremely interesting. The problem with this habit of mine is that I currently now only have about 7 hours of sleep to get in before I have to get up for church and I am most definately not a morning person and function way better on 8-9, sometimes even 10, hours of sleep. So if you see me in church on Sunday and I seem to be lagging just a little bit, please forgive me and just give me a swift kick! haha

Alone or just Lonely?

Okay so most days I am pretty content with who I am, where I am in my life and what I have...but some days I am just down...not in like I am so depressed and can't imagine my life ever getting better kind of depressed but just lonely down. I love going to church because I love being surrounded by the people and feeling God's presence in every turn and the sound of Worship and children learning about Jesus, it is amazing. I love seeing the families together, making plans with other families to go out to dinner or make a play date, a sleepover or some other fun and exciting thing that children and families plan together. But there is a part of me that is so envious of that....wishing that I had a place in that part of life! I don't mean to sound that I am not completely grateful for all the blessings I have in my life because I so am....but some days are really hard for me. It is hard to sit and wonder when, who, how, where am I finally going to meet that special guy, the one I get to start my own family with...I so look forward to that day, sometimes it totally consumes my thoughts and feelings and I get way overwhelmed until God sets me in place and says love ME first, think about ME first and THEN he will come. I have complete faith in the promises the Lord makes and I know that someday it will happen but it is just days like today when I get really impatient to make those plans myself to have playdates and make plans for dinner and sleepovers and all the other wonderful things that go along with parenting and having a family. Don't get me wrong, I am not completely delusional to the fact that its not all sunshine and roses, I have babysit enough to know its not like that all the time, and that there are a lot of hard times too...i have been through enough of them with my own family, but the promise of that security and love is really.....amazing.

Scrabook Layouts

Hey here are a couple of my earlier scrapbook layouts, not sure how well these will come out, my more recent stuff is back in watertown so Kim you will have to wait for inspiration from those until later! haha These next two layouts are from my disneyworld trip with the Arnold clan, it was so much fun!

This one is from when I worked at a home daycare for a year while I was going to school in Aberdeen, it was such a great experience but it made me realize I could never do daycare for a living, I love kids but that is not my thing!
This last one is one of my favorites! I was babysitting at Kristi's house and the kids were playing outside, Cindy's kids were also there, anyway before I knew it I came outside and they looked like this:

Playing in the Snow

There is something so amazing about a fresh snowfall. The snow is so beautiful and pristine and it just sparkles with all the amazingness that God has to offer! While most of the time I am an avid hater of the cold of winter, after a new snowfall you can't help but smile, it is just so beautiful! Me and my best friend, Chrissy, decided to take advantage of it and just have FUN! Sometimes in college it seems like there is never time to enjoy the simple pleasures of having fun, especially with your best friend. It was so fun, we tromped around, freezing our buns off but it was such a good time to enjoy it and take pictures and not worry about homework assignments, check offs and tests for an hour! I loved it. Chrissy is amazing, she has been my best friend for years now and its been so much fun, she is more like a sister to me than my own sister, definately more friendly :P She has been there for me through everything! Through my grandma's death, which was one of the hardest things I ever had to endure, my fighting with my dad and occasionally my mom, through a time when I didn't think I was ever going to overcome my anxiety issues and would die always worrying about something! And I even had the pleasure of showing her around my favorice place on earth, DISNEY WORLD! Me and her took a trip there a couple of years ago and it was so much fun! Sure we have had our ups and downs, what family doesn't right? But through it all I have known that she was going to be there, that we could have our stupid humor and laugh at each other when we are being so stupid or not even have to say anything at all. That is what friends are for I tell ya. I guess I just needed a reminder of that....and nothing says it best then romping through the snow with each other, getting snow EVERYWHERE and freezing it out together. God is so amazing that he gives us people who know us and love us despite all our faults. One of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson goes like this "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." I love it because it completely describes my friendship with Chrissy, we can be stupid and it doesn't matter, we love each other anyway!

Smooth Talker

Okay so I know you all know what I am talking about, the guys that can basically talk you into anything even if you don't need it, don't want it and definately can't afford it! Okay so I am in my apartment, trying to hurry up and get my stuff ready because I had to meet my clinical group in like ten minutes to leave for Sioux Falls where we had clinical. All of the sudden I hear a knock on my door and STUPIDLY just went right ahead and opened the door and there he is...the smooth talker. Immediately he has a big smile on his face, extremely charming and he starts talking to me about how he needs this certain amount of points so he can start his own business and then he says to ask him how he can earn these points, so I did and he starts talking about these magazines that I can buy and yeah so pretty soon he asks if he can come in and again I stupidly say yes and he is like so what would you like to get and I am like well there isn't really anything I need or want and so he tells me that I can send a magazine over to the troops and then he will get a bonus 500 points! SO i am like well sure I can send a magazine to the troops but just pick the cheapest one. Well before I know it I am shelling out 50 bucks for a magazine that I wont even get to read and that I would never approve of so this guy can get his dream of owning his own stupid business! Seriously how gullible can one girl be for a charming smile and a little flattery? Ridiculous I tell you...I need a lesson in saying no.

This is me!

Hello my dear friends and family! I don't know how many of you will actually be reading this, but to those of you who do, welcome! I decided to do this after my friend Kim told me about what fun it is and as if I don't have enough to do I thought it would be fun to start a blog, because while it is for other people to learn about the happenings of my life, its also just a nice place to vent or let my creativity flow if I so desire! Anyway for those of you who do not know I am in Brookings right now with about a year and a half to go until I finally complete my Nursing degree! Praise the lord because I am SO ready to be finished with school! I guess I don't really know really what I have too much to say right now. On a slightly less enthusiastic note, I just found out that this guy that I used to have a major crush on is now engaged...i know probably not a big deal at all but its just kind of sad. He has quit school so that he can pay off his school loans before he gets married. If you want to get married great but why throw away the rest of your life? You can have your cake and eat it too, there is no reason why you should have to give up your dreams and make something of yourself for another dream. Maybe I am being a little overly dramatic but I think it is true. If you want to be able to support your family you have to be able to make something of yourself. Plus he is only like 21! Okay so yes jealousy does have a little something to do with this because I am more than ready myself to be in a serious relationship and settle down but that is besides the point...Anyway I will get off the soap box now...I wanted to show you guys some pictures from my apartment, where I have been living since the end of August. It's actually a great apartment and pretty reasonable, I think my room is bigger than my room at home! Soon though I will have to give it up because after May I will be moving back home for my final year of school. The picture to the left is a picture of my bedroom, I decided to redo my decorating when I moved in and went with the simply shabby chic collection from target which I have to say I absolutely have loved! its just so fun and girly and plus I got the added benefit of finding all the accessories, I find a three basket combination on clearance, a beautiful mirror that I absolutely love from the same collection that was also on clearance. Really thats about it but it was so much fun shopping for all of it! This is my dresser and TV which I really don't use all that much, the TV that is...mostly I just watch TV in the living room, but anyway just thought I would giveyou a little preview of that! :D This picture to the right is a picture of my kitchen, which suffices in terms of kitchens go I suppose. It is actually pretty big and we have a gas stove and oven. The only bummer part is that we do not have a dishwasher and sometimes our dishes definately tend to pile up, but seriously when do two nursing students have time to do dishes! Between check offs (that is when we have to perform a certain nursing task in front of an instructor and we either pass or fail, yeah if you want to talk about nerve racking), homework and tests we definately do not have time for dishes. Anyway I guess that is about it, just a little piece of my life! Hopefully I will be able to have some interesting things for you guys, that was just a little introduction to me. :D