Another year older...

Well today I have turned one more year older to the whopping age of 23, I know can you even believe it? lol Birthdays are a funny thing, when you are young they are something to look forward to, anticipate and celebrate to the fullest with all of your friends and family but once you get older it shifts somewhat and you don't really know if it is something you should go all out and celebrate, throw a party, have fun, be young or sit back, relax, enjoy the view and all that life and God has brought you throughout the year. Of course I am sure it could be a little bit of both, for me birthdays are kind of sad though. When I was younger it was such a great day, you got recognized in school, at home, from your friends, everyone knew it was your birthday. Then that night me and my family would usually go out to eat to celebrate, dinner resturaunt of my choice of course and we just celebrated as a family. I remember when that shifted and I didn't really care too much about celebrating with my family but wanted to be with friends instead, my own fault of course. But now as I sit here I wish those days were still around, instead I am the only one home, mom and Pat in Wyoming, one brother in Minneapolis and the other in Vermillion. I am not asking for pity so please don't think I am throwing myself a pity party, which looking back at this post it does indeed sound lik one (so sorry folks lol). It just really makes you look back and value the things that you once looked over and thought of as nothing, took for granted. BUT alas another year older just means another year to improve upon the things that get you down, make you restless, make you mad, upset, or all of the above. As for me, I really want to take this next year and make something of myself, I want to be dedicated and in charge of myself enough to know that I can succeed at losing weight and becoming the person that I want to be and the person that other people see in me. I don't want to be afraid anymore, not that I am afraid in a sense that I am quivering in my boots or anything but I get nervous in new situations, I clam up, don't talk, act like a buffoon and it honestly takes me awhile to open up...I never used to think I was a shy person and I honestly still don't really but I just get nervous about what to talk to people about...I know annoying habit. Anyway thanks for bearing with me through this post, it was kind of long and tedious! Hope you all are doing well and enjoying this blessed rain we have falling down on us!